On Crossabling
In talking with other members of the transabled community over the past 9 months or so, I’ve noticed something. To borrow the transgendered community’s language to use for transabled issues as Sean does, a lot of us seem to ‘crossable’. By that, I mean people that are transabled, but pretend other disabilities at times, learn/use skills related to other disabilities without pretending, or other similar things.
I know quite a few people who blindsim at times, but have no desire to actually be blind. People who need a sensory impairment, but who use a wheelchair at times (or have a desire to use one at times), without needing/wanting anything affecting mobility. Then there’s me, who (obviously) needs MS, but at times wish I could be deafblind for a period of time. Not permanently, it’s not a need like having MS is. It doesn’t cause depression for me, it doesn’t cause any major issues really, it’s just there in the back of my mind. Sometimes it comes to the front for a time, and I’ll spend more time reading braille, less time interacting with the world in a sighted/hearing way, but it’s just fundamentally different than MS is for me. I don’t pretend to be deafblind in public, nor do I have any desire to. I use braille, use computing devices designed for blind/deafblind people, but have no desire to need these devices to get through daily life as I do with my wheelchair.
I’m not sure why so many transabled people seem to have this in common. Is it because we probably tend to be fairly involved with the disability community in general? It doesn’t seem to be, because non-transabled people involved in those same communities don’t have any desire to crossable as far as I’ve ever known. Is it because we’re so involved with other people pretending that we want to experience other types of pretending ourself, to know what that’s like? That seems more likely to me, as a lot of transabled people I’ve met seem to also be curious about disabilities other than the ones they need. It’s likely a combination of things, and likely different for each person.
I don’t have any good answers here, just observations and more questions.
This is just a guess, but It may just be that using devices/pretending to be deaf and/or blind is a lot more common in general. I know two different people who will occasionally go around (though usually just at home/friends) with ear plugs on, just because they get sick of hearing every now and then. Even as a kid I would occasionally put a blindfold on and try to walk around my house. Being Deaf or Blind generally heightens your other senses, which can be interesting to people. You take that, and toss it in to a group of people that are comfortable with ’simming’ other disabilities, and it would make them more comfy practicing the former, I imagine.
When I was a kid, I was as much into blindness as I was wheelchairs, and I blindsimmed nearly every day. However, I kind of outgrew that, or something, and it is the desire to need a chair that always stayed with me. Even now, however, I ocassionally think about being blind, but don’t really want to be AT ALL. I have noticed one thing, though…I have never heard an amputee wannabe talk about blindness, only people who desire paralysis. Could be just that I haven’t talked to enough amp wannabes about it.
Maybe it’s because we tend to be (of necessity) more open to the idea of exploring ourselves in a manner different from that dictated by our physical condition.
I’ve also experienced another phenomenon in the area of self-discovery: a very effective way for me to discover who (and what) I *am* (on many levels, not just TA), has been to explore a number of different interests, conditions, lifestyles, etc - and eliminate those which I am NOT.
Either/both of these could be related. Or they could just be random factoids.
Im just feeling rather rather icky right now. And a large part of me feels too apathetic to make an blog posting. Perhaps a lot of people feel as I do right now. Just…overwhelmed. Right now I can not function in my life, make any decisions or proceed with my life, Im afraid to. It’s paralyzing, anxiety-attack inducing fear. Just the whole, I’ve tried really hard and in the end I just end up..failing.
Anyhow. This is less about me and why i’ve suddenly popped up out of the blue. And more about transabled stuffs. I admit, I’ve always felt more at ease and relaxed within interactions with disabled people at first. It always feels different at first when I interact with disabled people and people i percieve to be disabled, because it’s different, my brain doesn’t register it in some way that disabled people are no less intelligent or interesting than other people. That’s probably social conditioning and such though. Regardless, one thing usually is the same. That I feel more comfortable and accepted within this group of people. I don’t think I’d ever do transabled things, though some, I admit, I find fascination in. An interest to understand, and how can we really begin to understand those things, without first taking on the role? I don’t think we can without filling out the role adequately in a transabled manner. I think it’d be interesting to spend a day or two wheeling. Unbelievably tiring and frustrating at times, but interesting. Some days I wonder what it’d be like living without a particular limb. usually my left arm for some reason. But i’ve no desire to lose my left arm, nor any desire to simulate the effect. At least, I don’t think I do. Mainly because I don’t know how I’d really cope with losing a lot of typing speed, which would likely be an issue if i lose my left arm.
Hi, Robin,
I just found your blog. I want to say that i understand your feelings. I also think you’re pretty cool. Feel free to contact me if you would like. I’m mainly a devotee, but I do dabble in some of that which you describe.
Hi there,
I am researching a potential documentary idea for Channel 4 on the subject of Body Identity Integrity Disorder. At the moment I’m trying to get hold of real sufferers of the disorder to get a well informed, heartfelt and compassionate portrayal of what it’s like to live with BIID. Would you be able to let me know if this is something you’d be willing to chat about on the phone - off record of course? Also, would be great to know if you’ve been approached by any other TV Companies.
Best Wishes,
Brigid
Juniper Television
London
t: +44 207 407 9292
f: +44 207 407 3940
www.junipertv.co.uk
I have put together a brief survey looking at attitudes towards disability as part of my work about disability being a ‘positive’ experience and the regulation of normalcy. The survey is fully online and the link is below. No personal details are taken.
This survey is part of research around the concept of ableism and how ableism shapes not just our understandings of disability,but also difference, the concept of normalcy and deviancy. Specifically the survey data will be used to develop argument in a book
chapter concerned with the formation of subjectivity (identities) of people who have very marginal forms of difference (intersexed people, transabled people, and conjoined twins. All information will be dis-identified.The researcher herself is a person with
disability who teaches and undertakes research in the field of disability studies.
Here is the online link : http://fionakumaricampbell.googlepages.com/home there is a hyperlink to the survey.